


Back At You

by ladylapislazuli



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Mature-age student Dimitri, Overwatch References, Strong Language, Twitch Streamer Felix, Veteran Dimitri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:41:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22855666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladylapislazuli/pseuds/ladylapislazuli
Summary: Dimitri is right there. Standing in front of him, shifting his weight and looking like he’s regretting his decision to knock, and Felix doesn’t want that. It’s not Dimitri’s fault that Felix is paired with the most useless teammates in existence.“What’s up?” Felix grunts.Dimitri holds out the Nintendo Switch. Mouth twisted decidedly down.“The slimes keep killing me.”- - -In which Felix is a professional Overwatch streamer, and Dimitri is just trying his best.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Felix Hugo Fraldarius, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 76
Kudos: 599





	Back At You

**Author's Note:**

> CONTENT WARNING: Strong language.
> 
> Also loose relationship with actual game release dates and current Overwatch meta. Also also I've based modern Fódlan's education system off the one I know aka Australia's rather than America's because I do what I *want* Rhea
> 
> The idea for this fic came from unsungillumination/@corviiid's delightful thread on Twitter: https://twitter.com/corviiid/status/1223443924284370944

“You piece of fucking shit!”

Felix tears his headphones from his head and throws them in rage, slamming his hands down on his desk as _DEFEAT_ displays on his screen.

He scrubs a hand through his hair, strands of it falling out of his ponytail. Another loss. _Another_ one, in a streak of seven, which is _so much goddamn SR._ He’s gaining maybe twenty every win, if he’s lucky, but he’s losing _forty_ with every loss.

That’s it. There’s no way he’ll reach Grandmasters. If that stupid Mercy knew how to do her goddamn job, and if Reinhardt had stayed on the fucking point rather than charging into a 4v1, and if Pharah had switched off onto literally anyone else like he _told_ her to _at the beginning of the match_ –

He jams his headphones back onto his head so he can speak into his mic. Ignoring the comments in his Twitch chat as he exits the match, fuming.

“PharMercy in a fucking Masters game. Guess I won’t be making it back to Grandmasters this season, thanks to the great fucking matching, as always. Seriously, what the fuck?”

The chat races on – memes and strategy advice and _hey duke you’re a toxic shithead_ , which he ignores completely.

“Let me explain something to you,” he snarls into his camera. “PharMercy is _useless_ if you’ve got good hitscan on the enemy team. They had a Grandmaster goddamn McCree, what the _fuck_ _-_ ”

He’s ready to launch into a full-blown rant when he hears, very quietly, a knock on his door.

Felix tips his head. Breathing hard. Considers, then slowly breathes out.

“I’m done for now. See you later, assholes.”

He logs out. Cuts his stream, just shuts the whole stupid lot of it off. He rips his headphones off again and shoves his chair back, stalking over to open the door.

Dimitri jerks. His hand halfway to another knock, expression sheepish.

“I – I’m sorry to disturb you, if you’re working,” he says. “But it sounded like you’d finished the match.”

Felix keeps a lid on his temper, but it’s a near thing. He takes in a shuddering breath, forcing down the surge of aggression. He feels like hitting something, because thanks to his team Felix is completely _fucked_ and -

Dimitri is right there. Standing in front of him, shifting his weight and looking like he’s regretting his decision to knock, and Felix doesn’t want that. It’s not Dimitri’s fault that Felix is paired with the most useless teammates in existence.

“It’s fine,” Felix grunts. “What’s up?”

Dimitri holds out the Nintendo Switch. Mouth twisted decidedly down.

“The slimes keep killing me.”

Felix takes the Switch, which is playing Stardew Valley. Dimitri’s in the mines. Exactly fifteen levels in, out of one-hundred-and-twenty. And, apparently, unable to do battle with the most basic, beginner-level enemies the game has to offer.

Felix twitches. It’s a _slime,_ what the fuck - but Dimitri’s never really played games before. He’s trying. Felix has no idea how he can possibly be messing this up, but Dimitri is _trying_.

He’s doing that hovering thing again, too. Hovering outside Felix’s door like he’s uncertain of his welcome. For such a big man, and a man with his military record no less, he does a good job of fretting like an over-anxious parent on the first day of kindergarten.

“Let’s put the Switch on the big screen,” Felix says, doing an impressive impersonation of calm. Still simmering, the taste of an entire ruined competitive season bitter in his mouth, but pushing it as far down as he can. “I’ll show you.”

“Are you sure? I didn’t mean to interrupt,” Dimitri says, and the anxious twist to his lips is all-too-familiar.

Everything between them is still… new. Still so new, and Felix sees it on Dimitri’s face a lot. Dimitri second-guessing himself, unsure what to do or how to act. And Felix isn’t the best at reading faces, but he knows Dimitri’s like the back of his hand.

It’s not like there’s any point in keeping on playing. Felix was so close to Grandmasters before his loss streak, but the competitive season’s about to end, and he won’t make it there now.

“Sure,” Felix says. “Come on.”

He leads the way into the living room, slotting the Switch into its dock and turning the TV on. He settles on the couch with the Pro controller - which, for the record, Felix bought because he wanted it and it’s a useful thing to have. Not at all because it reminded Dimitri of Xbox controllers – Dimitri had tried, with limited success, to play Halo with him back in their school days before everything went to hell between them – and Felix thought that it’d be easier for him.

Felix is still angry. But even brief exposure to Dimitri dampens the worst of it, which he’s absolutely not going to examine.

“Here,” Felix says, gesturing at the space beside him.

It’s only a small couch. Dimitri sits down, as upright as ever, but his sheer size means that his muscular thigh is pressing constantly against Felix’s. He smells good, too. A bit like Felix’s shampoo, and Felix’s chest does something funny at the thought.

“Let’s upgrade your gear,” Felix says, and starts showing Dimitri the ropes.

\- - -

Dimitri’s farm is, to put it mildly, a hot mess.

There’s no rhyme or reason to it. He mistimes planting out cauliflower in spring, so the crops die when summer rolls around. He spends most of his stamina on fishing. He smelts copper bars one by one, rather than gathering the resources to build multiple furnaces, and doesn’t like to stray far from his furnace while it’s working. He just sits there patiently staring at it until he can give it more of Felix’s hard-earned copper.

Felix does most of the mining. Dimitri doesn’t like the combat system, and hands the controller off whenever something as innocuous as a bug approaches him.

“It’s a _bug_ ,” Felix says, swinging his sword and killing it in a single hit. Reaping Dimitri more bait for his beloved fishing minigame.

“I don’t like the fighting bits.”

“You were an actual, real-life soldier,” Felix snaps, incredulous.

Dimitri shrugs. Shoulders hunching, lips tightening, and not for the first time Felix regrets how sharp he can be. He didn’t mean to be insensitive. He often is, all the same.

He looks back to the TV. Clears the level, and makes sure the next one is clear of enemies too before he hands the controller back to Dimitri. Not really sure what to say.

“Do I have enough ore yet to upgrade my tools?” Dimitri asks. Still subdued.

Felix checks his inventory bar. “Yes.”

Dimitri goes back to his farm. Stands in front of his furnace as it painstakingly spits out copper bars. Waiting.

Felix looks down at his own hands. Dimitri’s face has closed-off. He’s not angry, not offended. He’s just silent, and somehow that’s worse.

Felix isn’t good at this. Not at this part. He doesn’t know what to say without making things worse, without reminding Dimitri of things he doesn’t want to think about. It’s just a stupid game. He didn’t mean to…

He looks at Dimitri. At his broad shoulders and his scarred, handsome face. So different than the pristine, naïve boy he used to be, but still the same in all the ways that matter.

Felix leans into him. Cheeks flushed, eyes averted, because he’s not – he’s not the tactile sort. Even worse at this than he is at talking about things, but he’s trying. He won’t apologise – he doesn’t know how – but maybe…

Dimitri shifts. Wraps an arm around him, careful, tentative, which isn’t what Felix wants. He tugs Dimitri’s arm closer. Shifts around until Dimitri gets the hint and repositions himself so that Felix is between his thighs, Felix’s back leaning against his chest and Dimitri’s arm wrapped around Felix’s waist.

It’s awkward, at first. They’re still learning each other. Still careful, still tentative, and slowly Dimitri picks the controller back up. Starts playing again, Felix resting against him, and both of them are tense.

So yeah, awkward. But then, somewhere along the way, it isn’t anymore. Dimitri never asks outright to hold him, but he’s never said no when Felix, however reluctantly, has allowed him to all the same. He pulls Felix closer. Rests his chin against Felix’s head. And Felix isn’t tactile, but like this Dimitri’s essentially just another piece of furniture.

(Felix’s thumb keeps stroking Dimitri’s arm where it’s wrapped around his waist. He can feel Dimitri’s every breath. And when he focuses, when he presses his fingers to Dimitri’s wrist, he can feel the steady _thud, thud, thud_ of his heart.)

He thinks he can feel Dimitri smiling when Dimitri, for no reason at all, brushes a kiss to the side of his head.

“Just play the stupid game,” Felix mutters, even as he presses back into Dimitri’s embrace.

\- - -

Felix is streaming a bit less these days. Not that that means much – streaming used to be pretty much all he did, with nearly every waking moment. Now he only streams for most of his conscious hours. Now… now he has to schedule his days more carefully.

It’s not – he doesn’t do it _for_ Dimitri. That would be stupid. Streaming is Felix’s career, and he’s worked long and hard to turn his high school vision into reality.

But things are different now. His schedule changes as a natural consequence of having Dimitri back in his life, because Dimitri spends a lot of time in Felix’s apartment. He has his own, but Felix took one look at it and ordered Dimitri back to his place.

It’s not that Dimitri’s apartment is dirty, or in a bad neighbourhood, or that there’s anything really _wrong_ with it. It’s just… sterile. Grey, and sad, and somehow lonely even when they’re both in it. Even the furniture is rented, and Felix doesn’t like to think of Dimitri sitting alone on that ugly brown couch, eating a sloppy microwave dinner and watching something mindless on his ancient TV.

“I don’t want to rush you,” Dimitri had said. Rubbing the back of his neck, avoiding Felix’s gaze.

With hindsight - and extensive explanation from Annette and then Mercedes when Felix went for a second opinion - that might have been Dimitri’s way of saying that _he_ was uncomfortable. That _Dimitri_ was unsure, because they hadn’t been back in each other’s lives that long and had been dating even less time.

At the time, Felix just raised his eyebrows, said, “Don’t be stupid,” and that was that. Dimitri stayed the night, even though everything was so new. He’s stayed a lot of nights since.

So – schedule change. Felix streams a lot during the day while Dimitri’s in one of his classes, or at an appointment, or hanging out with his fellow ex-army friend Dedue. Dimitri’s mainly at Felix’s place in the evening, so Felix changes things up so he only streams a few nights a week, rather than at all hours.

It’s not a big deal. Really.

“Are you doing a stream tonight?” Dimitri asks as he plates their dinner. Spaghetti Bolognese, which is one of the two recipes Dimitri can actually cook.

“Yeah,” Felix says. “I’ll keep the volume down.”

“Can I watch you warm up?”

Felix blinks, surprised. He never lets Dimitri sit in when he’s actually competing – it feels strange, somehow, shrieking obscenities when Dimitri’s sitting right there – but warm-ups should be all right.

“Sure.”

They eat dinner. Felix tells Dimitri it’s delicious, even though he burned the bottom of the saucepan. Then Dimitri pulls up a chair in his office and watches as Felix warms up. In the practice range at first, getting his eye in, then in a custom 1v1 match when _Booty_Crevice_ finally logs in, late as always.

Dimitri reads the name aloud, and Felix can hear his frown.

“Hey, man,” comes Sylvain’s voice over the mic.

“Hey,” Felix grunts.

Sylvain’s a tank main, but he’s pretty versatile. They play a lot together, have done ever since both of their audiences were small. He’s… well, kind of a friend, Felix supposes. Sylvain’s a good player, he’s funny (apparently), and their personalities play well off each other. They get a lot of views whenever they team up, so Felix has kept doing it.

Sylvain’s not a perfect teammate. He periodically pulls out Hanzo ‘for the meme’, but Felix has learned to roll with it. Even though it’s annoying.

Dimitri leans in to get a closer look at the screen. “Is that a hamster?”

“That’s Wrecking Ball,” Felix says.

“You got company?” Sylvain says, and Felix realises he hasn’t set his mic to push-to-talk.

“Yeah. My boyfriend,” he replies without thinking, then has to endure Sylvain’s constant teasing for the entire time they’re warming up. _Duke’s got a boyfriend_ doesn’t get any funnier, no matter how many times Sylvain sings it.

“I’m Lance_Alot on Youtube,” Sylvain explains to Dimitri when he’s done his snickering. His channel is large, misspelling and all, and growing bigger by the day. He’s a big name – loud, vulgar, constantly making stupid jokes and getting in trouble - but he’s chill when the camera’s not on.

Not that Felix can judge. Felix isn’t exactly known for his even temperament and socially-appropriate conduct.

Sylvain’s Youtube fame means absolutely nothing to Dimitri. “Oh,” he replies eloquently.

“So how’d you two meet?” Sylvain says, and Dimitri responds before Felix can cut him off and tell Sylvain to mind his damn business.

“We’ve known each other since we were children. We recently reconnected.”

“Aww, cute.”

“Shut up,” Felix snaps. He can feel himself flushing. Tense, annoyed, ready to tear into one or both of them given the slightest excuse.

But then he looks over at Dimitri. Big and hulking in Felix’s cramped office, idly rotating in his wheelie chair. So out of place here, surrounded by all of Felix’s gear, and yet so _right_ all the same.

Even looking at him is a lot, sometimes. Felix’s sharp words die on his tongue. He looks back at the screen, trying to remember what he’s supposed to be doing.

 _You were eliminated by Booty_Crevice_.

“Oh fuck off,” he snaps as Sylvain teabags his corpse.

“Pay attention,” Sylvain says, and Felix can _hear_ his glee.

Felix gets him back with a triple shuriken headshot and a dash, followed by voice line spam of the most annoying sort.

Beside him, Dimitri is squinting at the screen. Sylvain’s constantly switching between heroes rather than actually warming up with any of his mains, Goddess only knows why, and Dimitri’s confusion is palpable. He makes increasingly baffled noises every time one of them eliminates the other. Leaning into the screen like a confused grandpa when Felix deflects a headshot and eliminates Sylvain with his own sniper fire.

Now Felix thinks about it, there’s kind of a lot going on on-screen. And he’s not the best at explaining things.

Dimitri doesn’t say anything, though. Just watches on, confusion and all, not disrupting Felix’s focus with questions. Just there. _S_ _upportive_ , even though he’s clueless as to what he’s supporting.

Felix’s stomach feels squirmy all of a sudden. It’s… a lot.

“Let’s get started,” he says abruptly. Ending the custom match without waiting for Sylvain’s agreement.

“Yeah, cool,” says Sylvain. “I’ll start recording.”

“I’ll leave you to it, then,” Dimitri says, getting to his feet.

He leans down and kisses the top of Felix’s head, and Felix is very glad he hasn’t got his camera on. He can feel himself going red.

Felix starts his stream once the door closes behind Dimitri. Ignoring the sudden uptick in his heartrate.

“All right, fuckers, let’s get this going,” he says. Somehow it lacks his usual aggression.

\- - -

When the new competitive season rolls around, Felix should really amp up his playing hours and ensure he gets into Grandmasters as early in the season as possible. Last season was a setback, but if he’s dedicated he should be able to turn things around quickly enough. He wants to be the best. The best Genji in the region, the best Genji in the _world_. He just needs to knuckle down and work even harder.

He… doesn’t. He spends a lot of time hanging out with Dimitri instead. More time than he should.

This evening, Dimitri’s playing Stardew Valley again. He’s spent over a year of in-game time and his stamina management still makes Felix twitch, but on the whole he’s doing better. He’s coming along nicely with rebuilding the Community Centre, and he takes such honest pleasure in harvesting gold-star crops that Felix refrains from negative commentary.

Even when he’s not playing, Dimitri spends a lot of time buried in the wiki and muttering to himself, making notes in an actual, real-life notebook rather than on his laptop like a normal person. He’s absolutely clueless but he’s having _fun_ and Felix…

Well. Felix’s heart does an odd little jump, from time to time, but he’s definitely not telling Dimitri that.

Dimitri’s uncharacteristically quiet as he plays today, though. He’s doing a lot of fishing rather than tending his crops, which has become something of a tell.

“How was class?” Felix asks, and Dimitri grunts.

Felix waits him out – Goddess knows Felix isn’t exactly chatty either – and Dimitri eventually relents.

“It feels wrong, me being there. I’m too old.”

“You’re not.”

“I’m surrounded by children, Felix.”

“So what?”

“I still don’t know what I want to do.”

“That’s why you went to university – to figure that out.”

Felix isn’t good at soothing, but they’ve had this conversation enough times for him to get a handle on it and learn from past mistakes. (Of which he’s made many.)

“I just…” Dimitri can’t finish that sentence. Falls back against the couch with a sigh.

Dimitri overthinks things. Always has, always will, and even when he’s taking his medication faithfully he still struggles. He thinks the other students stare at him. He thinks a lot of people stare at him - one of the many things he gets paranoid about - but in this case it’s probably not unwarranted. A tall, hulking army veteran can’t help but draw the attention of a bunch of scrawny eighteen-year-olds. Not to mention his looks because, scars or no scars, Dimitri’s the most attractive man Felix has ever seen.

Felix isn’t… he isn’t good at saying it. Not good at reassuring, or even just plain flirting. Even though Felix stares at Dimitri all the time, Dimitri never quite seems to get it through his head that he’s _attractive_. Dimitri went through a gawky phase in his teens – didn’t everybody – and his self-image hasn’t changed much since.

Felix doesn’t know what to do with him, sometimes. But he does what he can. Leans over and kisses Dimitri, and Dimitri startles. Relaxes into it, wrapping an arm around Felix’s shoulders so he can cradle the back of Felix’s neck, which never fails to make Felix go soft.

It’s terrible, how soft he is on Dimitri. It’s ridiculous. Felix has never been like this with _anyone_ before, and he hasn’t gotten used to it yet. It’s still mortifying.

He doesn’t pull away, though. Leans in, even though his heart is pounding so hard it’s almost uncomfortable.

“You’re doing fine,” Felix says when they part. “You’re doing everything right.”

Dimitri’s mouth twists. Not a smile, but not quite a grimace either. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you,” he says. Leaping straight to self-deprecation, as he often does when he’s having a bad day.

“Shut up,” Felix says automatically. It would have more heat if his fingers weren’t still tangled in Dimitri’s hair. Stroking the blond strands back from his face. “Don’t be stupid.”

“I’m sorry,” Dimitri says. Dropping his head, and Felix battles with his own impatience. He’s never been good at this part – but Dimitri isn’t the only one who’s got things in his past to atone for.

When Glenn died, Felix was angry. So angry, all of the time. He refused to follow in Glenn and their father’s footsteps, turning his back on a family tradition spanning generations, career military the whole lot of them. He hated his father, hated the world, hated the _expectation_. Hated Dimitri, too, when Dimitri didn’t do the same. When he followed in Lambert’s footsteps, another soldier in a long line, and Felix _hated_ him.

Dimitri’s self-loathing is hard to take, but Felix isn’t what he used to be. He knows what it’s like to miss Dimitri, now.

He takes the controller from Dimitri. Sets in on the coffee table.

“Let’s go for a walk,” he says, pulling Dimitri up by the hand.

\- - -

Dimitri doesn’t really understand Felix’s work, but he tries. Asks him about his latest matches, making interested noises despite the total lack of comprehension on his face when Felix tries to explain what he’s been up to. Watches highlight videos on Youtube with an equal lack of comprehension, mainly watching Felix’s face-cam rather than the game itself, frowning whenever Felix gets particularly toxic but never voicing a word of criticism. He even tries to use gaming terminology sometimes – badly, but he looks for approval every time, and it’s so unbearably sweet that Felix wants to slam his own face into the wall in a mixture of affection and embarrassment.

It's going well, is the point. Their relationship. Dimitri stays in university, even though he feels out of place. He spends a lot of time in Felix’s apartment. Companionable, settled, which remains absolutely mortifying whenever anyone asks Felix about it, but which Felix is in absolutely no hurry to change. Dimitri plays Stardew Valley, and works out, and takes his medication.

(He’s more settled. Not so careful when he reaches out to Felix. Not so worried about not being perfect, which means he’s moodier than before his service, but that’s okay too.)

Everything is going well. But then one day that all flips on its head, because Dimitri asks Felix to teach him how to play Overwatch. _Teach_ him. Dimitri. _Felix_.

“Uh,” Felix says. Dimitri’s smile wavers, so he hurries to find something, anything, to say. “Overwatch is all about fighting. I thought you didn’t like that.”

“I’d like to learn,” Dimitri says. His smile comes back, so disarmingly earnest that it makes Felix capitulate every single time, no matter how inadvisable.

Teaching him is a special form of hell. There’s no way around it. Felix is a professional player – he lives, breathes and works gaming, his reflexes are impeccable, his strategy and game knowledge so in-depth that they’ve become instinct.

Dimitri, on the other hand, has absolutely no idea what’s going on, at any point, ever. He can barely keep track of the objective. He can’t move and shoot at the same time. He has absolutely no sense for game strategy, and if Felix has to answer the question, “Who’s that?” one more time he might scream.

“That’s Mei,” he says through gritted teeth.

“What does she do again?”

“Ice.”

“Oh, that’s right.”

Felix knows for a fact that Dimitri’s real-life aiming skills are impeccable. He doesn’t like to talk about his service, but he earned a lot of damn medals before he was discharged. He’s highly trained, strong, reacts to things Felix doesn’t even notice are there. Dimitri is aware, constantly, of what’s going on around him, even when it looks like he isn’t.

In-game, he might as well be wearing a blindfold. He’s the worst player Felix has ever seen, hands down. He’s beneath bronze tier – he’s a category entirely of his own.

But Felix has to be patient. Has to, because Dimitri is doing this for _him_. Doesn’t say as much, but the intention is so obvious and it makes Felix’s stomach do that strange wiggly thing, even though actually playing with Dimitri is a masterclass in anger management.

They play against AI. Easy AI. Felix ends up messing about with Sombra and Ana and other heroes he barely uses, purely to keep his brain engaged as Dimitri muddles about.

“Nice one. Good work,” he says when Dimitri finally manages to kill an enemy with Soldier 76’s ultimate. An ultimate which – and this can’t be stated clearly enough – quite literally aims _for_ you.

“I did it!” Dimitri crows.

“You’re getting better.” That’s not saying much. But Dimitri looks so pleased with himself that Felix bites down his impatience for the hundredth time.

Dimitri’s trying. And that’s more than enough.

\- - -

They don’t play Overwatch together often. Dimitri still prefers the calm tranquillity of Stardew Valley, and his studies keep him busy.

He still hasn’t decided what he actually wants to do. At present he’s enrolled in a Bachelor of Arts, but that’s pure technicality. He’s done classes from all across the spectrum – history, science, statistics, linguistics, economics. He does well – he works hard, no matter how boring the unit is – but nothing sticks.

“Maybe I’m just kidding myself,” he mutters one evening. Sitting in front of the TV and stress-fishing in Stardew Valley again.

It’s Felix’s turn to make dinner. He’s in the process of sloshing some store-bought sauce over pre-chopped vegetables, because he’s not much of a cook himself.

“What?” Felix says.

“Doesn’t matter.” It clearly does. Dimitri looks miserable.

Felix turns off the electric wok. Leans on the counter, pinning Dimitri with a stare. “Seriously, what?”

“It’s just… maybe the army’s all I’m good for.”

It’s a delicate topic between them, even after all the time that’s passed. Felix bites down his immediate surge of temper.

“Don’t be stupid,” he says. “So what if you haven’t found the right thing yet?”

“You’ve always known what you wanted,” Dimitri says.

Felix shrugs. Yes – and no. He’s had a goal for as long as he can remember in terms of his career. That part was easy. But other things…

He looks at Dimitri. Here, in his home, and even Felix’s bed sheets smell like him. There was a time Felix thought he’d never see him again. A time where he thought that was what he wanted.

“You’re always patient with me,” Felix mutters. Dimitri turns to look at him, but Felix stares down at the countertop. Trying to ignore the way his cheeks are flushing. “Use that on yourself.”

They’re quiet for a bit. Dimitri doesn’t say anything, so Felix goes back to cooking. After a moment, Dimitri picks Stardew Valley back up, and keeps playing.

He gets up, though, when Felix is serving. And rather than sit down at the table, he comes into the kitchen. Wraps his arms around Felix from behind as he’s scooping rice from the rice cooker and presses his lips to Felix’s cheek.

“Hey, watch it,” Felix says. Dimitri always picks the _worst_ moments for romance.

Dimitri inhales, clearly breathing him in, and Felix’s heart flips. Dating is so _gross_.

He doesn’t pull away, though. Forgets about dinner entirely when Dimitri turns him around so he can kiss him properly.

\- - -

“How come I’ve never heard about this boyfriend of yours?” Sylvain asks.

They’ve literally just started. Felix is still on the menu screen, setting up the parameters for their custom game. Cameras are off, thank the Goddess, but he still feels his cheeks heat.

“’Cause it’s none of your damn business.”

Sylvain, as usual, is entirely unperturbed by Felix’s terseness. Felix can _hear_ him grinning. “You guys sound tight. I can’t believe you’ve never mentioned him. How long have we been friends?”

“We hardly know each other.”

“Ouch,” Sylvain says mildly.

He leaves it at that, though. Lets it sit long enough that it gets awkward and Felix feels guilty for being so sharp, because they _are_ friends. Kind of. In a way. Overwatch friends, which isn’t a big deal. Admittedly Sylvain’s probably the person Felix has talked to most over the last few years, as they play together almost every day, and Annette and Mercedes live too far away for regular visits, but -

“Oh fuck you,” Felix gripes. “ _Fine_. He’s – we only started dating recently.”

“But you knew each other when you were kids, right?”

Felix is surprised Sylvain remembers. “Yeah. And?”

“Nothing.” Unless Felix is much mistaken, Sylvain’s grin has progressed from annoying to shit-eating. “You guys are cute.”

“Fuck off.”

“Nah, for real, man. That’s awesome. You seem happier.”

“Shut up,” Felix says. Flushing again, but for a different reason this time around. Sylvain can see that?

“You gotta send me a pic. He cute? He sounds cute.”

“I will actually kill you,” Felix says, to the sound of Sylvain laughing.

They stream together. On a winning streak this time, and Felix shouts and swears while Sylvain makes crude commentary and stupid jokes. On camera, Sylvain is larger than life, and Felix knows Sylvain’ll edit this footage into something short and snappy that’ll make it into trending on Youtube. They’re even wilder than usual today, bragging and shouting and getting truly ridiculous trick shots.

Sylvain is quieter once the stream is cut. No camera, just his voice over the mic as they finish up for the night.

“We should do an actual collab some time,” he says. “In person, I mean. It’d be hilarious.”

He’s said it before. Felix has always said no. Too busy with his streaming schedule. Working always, constantly, so much that he's never had time for anything else. _Anyone_ else.

 _No_ , is on the tip of his tongue. Instinct. But…

“Maybe,” he says. Awkward, uncharacteristically quiet. “I mean - yeah. Maybe. That’d be fun.”

\- - -

“You should do it,” Dimitri says. Like it’s not a big deal at _all_.

“Uh, did you hear me? He’s halfway across the damn _country_.”

“What of it?”

“I’ve never even met him.”

“You talk all the time,” Dimitri says. “This is your opportunity.”

Felix glares. Unsure how to voice the strange restlessness sitting inside him ever since Sylvain messaged him with a more formal invitation: _hey u wanna come visit next month on the 25 th?? festival on over the weekend we could check that out too lol_

“I don’t know,” Felix snaps, and leaves it at that.

Dimitri goes back to his laptop. Typing up an essay, library books sprawled all over the coffee table. It’s – something to do with politics, or whatever. Felix isn’t paying much attention. He keeps thinking about _this_.

It’s not that he’s _nervous_ , that would be stupid. But travelling would mean taking a break from streaming, and he doesn’t _do_ that. He hasn’t done that, not in all the years he’s been streaming for. Streaming is his life, his job, his career. It’s who he _is_.

“You don’t have to, Felix,” Dimitri says. He doesn’t look up from his laptop, but his fingers are still. “I just think you’d enjoy it.”

“Whatever. I’ll think about it,” Felix says, and retreats to his office.

When the time comes, though, Dimitri drives him to the airport. Felix doesn’t talk much during the ride there. His fingers are twitchy, and he keeps getting the impulse to check his luggage, even though he knows he’s got everything he needs in his backpack.

“Have fun,” Dimitri says, leaning over for a kiss. “I’ll miss you.”

Sylvain’s there to meet him at the other end. He greets Felix with a massive bear hug, which Felix just barely tolerates. Sylvain's broader than Felix realised, and somehow his hair’s even bolder in person. He talks Felix’s ear off the whole ride back to his place.

They've never met in person. It’s surprisingly not awkward.

They record a few videos together. Some Q&As, some stupid meme vids that Sylvain insists on doing, some non-Overwatch two-player games that are more about yelling at each other rather than anything involving strategy. Not too different from Felix’s usual work, when it comes down to it.

They also do other things. They go to the movies, and try new foods, and wander about the city. They go to the music festival that’s in town with Ingrid, Sylvain’s girlfriend. She’s really cool, as it turns out. She’s tiny, especially when she’s standing next to Sylvain, but she also competes nationally as an MMA fighter, and Felix has no idea how Sylvain ever managed to win a woman like her over. She and Felix bond surprisingly quickly over shared exasperation with him.

Felix calls Dimitri every night. Dimitri’s getting ready for exams, but he always takes Felix’s calls, no matter the hour. They share news, trade stories and it’s… it’s weird, being away from him. Even if it’s only for a few days.

Their collab videos do well. Really well. Number one on trending for a while, but weirdly that’s… not the biggest thing that Felix takes away from the trip.

“You should come visit,” he tells Sylvain and Ingrid when they take him to the airport. “Both of you. Come meet Dimitri.”

He feels stupid saying it. Embarrassed. But Sylvain gives him a shit-eating grin and another big bear hug, and Ingrid smiles and hugs him after, and it’s not the worst thing in the world.

\- - -

Among Dimitri’s classes for the next semester is, surprisingly, a theatre class. He doesn’t tell Felix about it at first. Blurts it out randomly one evening, with the air of someone unable to bear a terrible secret any longer, and can’t quite look at Felix as he waits for his response.

Felix isn’t sure why Dimitri even cares for his opinion. It’s not like Dimitri cared for it when he decided to join the army.

He doesn’t say as much. He’s getting better at tact.

“Cool,” he says instead, and Dimitri breathes out.

“Do you want to play some Overwatch tonight?” Dimitri asks.

“All right.”

Dimitri will never be good, but he’s better than he was. They even play against real people rather than AI now, though Felix uses an alternate account. His own street cred aside, it wouldn’t exactly be fair to pool Dimitri in with the highest tier of players.

“Nice,” Felix says when Dimitri successfully kills somebody with his ultimate. Third time’s the charm.

They laugh a lot. A lot more than Felix is used to when he’s playing Overwatch. He spends a lot of time messing about rather than paying attention to the objective or getting gold medals. He and Dimitri team up as a McCree-Ana duo for a while, and bad-manners kill as many people as possible.

Dimitri also tries, however falteringly, to play Genji. As a Genji main it’s sometimes painful to watch, but Felix takes to playing Hanzo (for the meme, as Sylvain so often says) and spamming voice lines for the heck of it. Dimitri dies constantly, and he always uses his ultimate at the wrong time, but Felix teabags his way around the map while spamming arrows so somehow they balance each other out.

They lose a lot. But it’s not the point of frustration that it normally is. Felix spends most of his time laughing.

Dimitri’s not a serious player. He’ll never be _good_ at it. He only ever plays with Felix, and he still finds the sheer amount of information on-screen overwhelming sometimes. But he learns the terminology. Learns the strategy. Learns the mechanics, so that when Felix does something amazing in a competitive match Dimitri actually _understands_.

It… it means a lot. In a way that Felix can’t fully explain, because he’s never cared for anyone’s approval. He turned his back on his family’s tradition, disdained the disapproval of his father, because _Felix_ knew that what he was doing was worthwhile, and that was enough. It didn’t matter if his family didn’t understand his job, or thought he was _wasting his talents_. To hell with them – Felix made himself a career doing what _he_ wanted to do.

But Dimitri’s there. There all the time now. And Felix never thought he’d have Dimitri back in his life, let alone so close, but Dimitri _is_.

Things are good. So much better than Felix ever imagined they could be.

Dimitri still can’t decide what he wants to do with his life post-army. But he seems to be embracing the process of exploring opportunities, rather than racing towards a set goal. It’s hard for him – Dimitri’s always had something to strive for, always had some _expectation_ weighing him down – but he’s learning.

The theatre classes are a step in the right direction. Totally outside the realms of anything a Blaiddyd has ever done. Dimitri comes home griping about bizarre exercises they’re made to do over the course of the semester – “We had to lie on the floor and trace the shape of a chair with our bodies, Felix, what does that even _mean_?” - but he doesn’t pull out of the unit. He stills feels out of place at university, but his fellow theatre students are nothing if not misfits.

The less said about _them_ the better. The only good thing that comes from Dimitri’s proximity to that hot mess of a group is that he becomes less embarrassed about taking his medication and going to therapy on the regular.

He does a lot of stress-fishing when performance time approaches. His Stardew Valley farm is in excellent condition these days, though it’s still a sprawling mess, and all of his fishing gear is fully upgraded now. He spends day after in-game day out by the ocean, reeling in fish and pausing only to eat some seaweed to replenish his stamina.

“All right?” Felix says one evening, and Dimitri just grunts in reply.

Felix sits beside him on the couch. Nudges and prods until Dimitri moves so Felix can sit between his legs, tugging Dimitri’s arms around him.

“You don’t have to come and watch,” Dimitri says. “You or Dedue. It’s – it’s really not very good, you don’t have to.”

“Don’t be stupid,” Felix says. Stroking Dimitri’s arms idly until, almost despite himself, Dimitri calms down.

The big production of the semester is _Twelfth Night_. Mercifully abridged - Felix has suffered through _Twelfth Night_ before and the plot made absolutely no sense the first time around. He has little hope that it’ll improve on second viewing. A viewpoint he absolutely doesn’t tell Dimitri, who’s twitchy enough as it is.

Felix sits with Dedue, who’s as enormous and taciturn as ever. They don’t have much to say to each other. But they’re both there for Dimitri, and that’s the main thing.

“If music be the food of love, play on,” Dimitri says.

He’s sprawled out on a chaise-longue under the glaring stage lights. Hair loose and tousled, his billowing white shirt open to an extent that is clearly supposed to render him dashing and roguish, but never quite masks the painful earnestness of Dimitri’s own personality. He's gorgeous, sincere, melancholy but enthusiastic by equal measure, a man rendered charming by his total lack of guile.

If this is the Duke Orsino, it suddenly makes sense why Viola falls so stupidly in love with him.

Felix slips out as soon as the curtains close, ahead of the rest of the audience and even Dedue, to meet Dimitri at the stage door. He lets Dimitri hug him, sweaty from the lights, still in his costume, and Felix can’t stop staring at the slip of bare chest when they part. Dimitri in period costume is… yeah. Wow.

“What did you think?” Dimitri asks. Hopeful but nervous, his desire for Felix’s approval all-too-plain.

Felix swallows. He’s awkward about this stuff, but…

“You’re amazing,” he says, and Dimitri’s smile is so bright it’s almost blinding.

Because they’re on a university campus, it’s kind of inevitable that Felix gets recognised. He’s pulled aside for some selfies when he goes back into the foyer to wait with Dedue. He talks to people, as much as he ever does, though thankfully his online persona is authentic enough that his reticence doesn’t surprise anyone. 

Dimitri doesn’t go to the cast after-party with the eccentric theatre kids. He goes out for a late-night burger with Felix and Dedue instead. Sylvain and Ingrid video-call, and Dimitri gets embarrassed because it’s _not a big deal_ , _it was just a university class_. Mercedes and Annette send through a video of the pair of them congratulating Dimitri and saying they can’t wait to hear all about it, and Dimitri turns red and buries his face in his arms and keeps asking why everyone’s making such a fuss.

"Eat your burger," Felix tells him, pinching him on the thigh.

On their way home, Dimitri keeps thanking Felix for coming. He tells him, over and over, that Felix didn't have to, and there's a lot of things Felix could say in response to that. Because Dimitri's done so much for him. To support him, to encourage him, to share in his interests, even when they aren't really Dimitri's thing, and Felix never knows how to tell him how much it means.

Dimitri didn't have to do any of that. Didn't have to come _back_ , after all the hateful things Felix said when they were younger.

Felix tugs Dimitri down for a kiss under a streetlight instead. Stops the flow of words coming out of his mouth.

"Like I'd miss it," he says, and Dimitri smiles.

\- - -

“Have you heard of Animal Crossing?” Dimitri asks him one day as they’re eating breakfast.

Felix gives him a flat look. Who does he think he’s talking to? “Of course.”

“There’s just – it says there’s a new game coming out on the Switch soon. Do you think I’d like it?”

“Definitely,” Felix says with a shrug. “I’ll pick you up a copy.”

“Oh, you don’t have to do that,” Dimitri says, shaking his head like he always does when anyone offers to do anything for him, ever. “I can get it.”

Felix ignores him. He buys it as soon as it comes out. Leaves it on the coffee table for Dimitri to find when he gets home from class, with an added post-it note to make its intention extra clear. Dimitri needs to be smacked over the head sometimes.

 _For you , _the note reads.

He’s streaming with Sylvain when Dimitri gets in. Feels his phone buzz with an incoming text message, and checks it while they’re queuing for their next match.

_This is too expensive, you didn’t have to!!_

Felix can generally judge Dimitri's agitation by the amount of exclamation marks he uses. He rolls his eyes.

 _just play it,_ Felix texts back, and gets back to his game.

It’s not too much. Not by any measure, but Dimitri gets funny whenever he thinks he’s taking from Felix. When he thinks he doesn't do enough cleaning, or doesn’t buy more groceries than he consumes, or thinks he's taking up too much of Felix’s time.

“I don’t want to distract you from your work,” is Dimitri’s constant refrain. Because it was inevitable that he’d eventually notice that Felix streams less when he’s there, and interpret it the wrong way entirely.

Felix loves his work. It’s what he’s always strived for, and dreamed of, and he’s not giving it up by any measure. But he doesn’t know how to tell Dimitri that Overwatch used to be his life in its entirety. That he spent all day every day playing it, and streaming it, and thinking about it. Overwatch was his every waking moment, and Felix’s life was spent in his chair in his office, working to be the best.

He didn’t think he was unhappy – after all, Felix was doing what he loved, and making a living from it. He got to play video games professionally. He was independent, and passionate, and _competing_ , which Felix has always loved to do.

But with Dimitri here, there’s just… more. A life outside the walls of his office and the subscriber counter constantly tracking on his screen. Dedue will be here soon to help Dimitri cook dinner and put together a new dresser to fit both Dimitri and Felix's clothes. Mercedes and Annette are driving to the city in a few days to help move the last of Dimitri's stuff into Felix's apartment. Next month, Felix and Dimitri are going to visit Sylvain and Ingrid together. Felix and Sylvain will make videos, and it'll be fun work. But it won't _all_ be work, and that's... that's a new thing.

Felix has traded some of his time, and maybe traded some of his skill set as a result, but it doesn’t _matter_. Because when he finishes his stream, Dimitri will be there. Pottering about _their_ apartment, doing his study, playing on the Switch. Not doing anything that _matters_ , just… there.

During the next brief pause between games, Felix picks his phone back up. Sends Dimitri a heart emoji – just one. He already feels stupid enough doing it in the first place, so there’s no need to be excessive.

Dimitri sends one right back. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hi it's me, a long-suffering Mercy main. Felix is 100% a Genji main don't @ me
> 
> I like to think Dimitri goes into like primary school teaching or alternatively chucks a full on Adam Driver. Either-or.
> 
> I'm @ladylapisxx on Twitter

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Back At You [Podfic]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28818933) by [LilacKait145](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilacKait145/pseuds/LilacKait145)




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